The Plan!

You gotta love Robin Williams……..Even if he’s nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message. Robin Williams’ plan…(Hard to argue with this logic!)

‘I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here’s one plan.’

1) ‘The US, UK , CANADA and  AUSTRALIA  will apologize to the world for our ‘interference’ in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those ‘good ‘ole’ boys’, we will never ‘interfere’ again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany,  South Korea , the Middle East, and the  Philippines . They don’t want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are from. They’re illegal!!!  France  will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don’t like it there, change it yourself and don’t hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don’t need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign ‘students’ over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don’t attend classes, they get a ‘D’ and it’s back home baby.

6) The US, UK , CANADA and  AUSTRALIA  will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while..

7) Offer  Saudi Arabia  and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not ‘interfere.’ They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN  Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens..

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us ‘Ugly Americans’ any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH…learn it…or LEAVE. Now, isn’t that a winner of a plan? ‘The Statue of  Liberty  is no longer saying ‘Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.’ She’s got a baseball bat and she’s yelling, ‘you want a piece of me?’ ‘

Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says ‘I love New York ‘ in Arabic:

And the unlikely relationship has made the wrinkly piggy a genuine sausage dog. In these adorable images Paulinchen can even be seen trying to suckle from his gigantic new mum.

The two animals live together on a huge 20-acre farm in Hoerstel , Germany , where Katjinga’s owners Roland Adam, 54, and his wife Edit, 44, a bank worker, keep a pair of breeding Vietnamese pigs.

Nose place like home: The baby piglet nuzzles up to its new mum

Property developer Roland found the weak and struggling piglet after he was abandoned by the rest of his family one evening after he was born.

He said: “The pigs run wild on our land and the sow had given birth to a litter of five in our forest.

“I found Paulinchen all alone and when I lifted him up he was really cold

“I felt sure some local foxes would have taken the little pig that very night so I took it into my house and gave him to Katjinga..

“She had just finished with a litter of her own, who are now 10 months, so I thought there was a chance she might take on the duties of looking after him.

“Katjinga is the best mother you can imagine. She immediately fell in love with the piggy. Straight away she started to clean it like it was one of her own puppies.

“Days later she started lactating again and giving milk for the piggy. She obviously regards it now as her own baby.”

Mum of the year? Quite possibly.

Husband Down

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife. ‘They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies.

‘Put them back, we can’t afford them demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the husband. ‘It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,’ replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: ‘So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it’s half the price.’

Of course, child.  What may I do for you?’

‘Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?’

‘I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.’

‘With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.’

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, ‘Father, do you have anything to declare?’

‘From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.’

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, ‘And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?’

‘I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.’

Roaring with laughter, the official said, ‘Go ahead, Father.  Next !’

In canada, many provinces have banned cell phones while driving:
Banned in Newfoundland (December 2002) fines up to C$180
Banned in Québec (Apr 2008) fines up to C$100
Banned in Manitoba (July 2010) fines up to C$191

Here’s the content of an email that has circulated in July of 2010, with the subject ‘This Guy was Texting His Girlfriend (No Joke)’. The story is that this male was sending a text message while driving, crossed the center yellow line, and hit a semi-truck head on. Whether the driver was actually using his cell phone when he crashed or not, it’s plausible!

DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!!

They only want to see you naked.

I wish I’d gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.

Where the hell is my prince charming?

Where the hell is my insatiable whore?

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good girl who LOVES to play.  I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.  Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.  I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me…  Call  (404) 875-6420 and ask for Annie, I’ll be waiting…..

Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society.